I remember / je me souviens
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For those limbic bursts of nostalgia, invented by Proust, miniaturized by Nicholson Baker, and freeze-dried by Joe Brainard in his I remember and by Georges Perec in his Je me souviens.

But there are no fractions, the world is an integer
Like us, and like us it can neither stand wholly apart nor disappear.
When one is young it seems like a very strange and safe place,
But now that I have changed it feels merely odd, cold
And full of interest.
          --John Ashbery, "A Wave"

Sometimes I sense that to put real confidence in my memory I have to get to the end of all rememberings. That seems to say that I forego remembering. And now that strikes me as an accurate description of what it is to have confidence in one's memory.
          --Stanley Cavell, The Claim of Reason


Wednesday, October 22, 2003
I remember how the hair of kids I knew got longer and longer. They shifted registers of life, became different people, as their hair became luxurious in a way that much outpaced their chronological or physical growth. Twelve to fourteen wasn't much psychologically, no matter what concern the earnest adults kept expressing. But the difference in hair length! Even curly-headed kids, like me (who hated my curls), had hair that tumbled backwards in long streaming waves. It was as though they were giving themselves to the accelerations of time, as though the rapidity of aging which was already (although just barely) starting to be an issue was something they were so insouciant about as to hasten it onwards with this yet more rapid development, as they changed who they were as quickly as their hair grew. It grew fast enough to make the sorites paradox (when do imperceptible changes yield perceptibility? How?) vivid and almost visceral: the imperceptible was breathing down your neck. They were the same and different, and so nearly instantaneously.

I remember wanting my hair to grow long, and the mammoth struggles I had with my parents over this, and measuring whether it came down over my eyebrows, and whether I could suck a strand hanging down over my foreheard or not.


posted by william 11:00 PM
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